Muscle and Fitness Hers Forums - View topic

gfraast · Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:25 am Post subject:

i'm questionning what i'm doing with my life at the moment...my job is great, paid very well and interesting (institutional sales client in an investment company), but i just miss the creative thing...i don't know if it would make sense to learn a new profession or something, because i think i'll never get paid that well anywhere else and won't have enough money for my travelling, which i also really like...i'll start with doing what i like as hobby, i take some lessons to learn how to make great photos with my slr etc...and i have my fitness-thing also, about which i'll write now, because thats a fitness blog Very Happy

i feel so good at the moment, had a great leg and shoulder workout in the morning, took higher weights for some exercises, felt done afterwards...i did have some dextrose afterwards, and i really watch my carbs, have more when needed etc., because i feel so much more energized with carbs!! maybe my body is not made for low carbs Very Happy

heres a sample day:
yesterday

eats
7 protein, berries 170
9 2 slices of bread with chive 350
11:15 nuts, date (mehdoul - sooooo good!!) 180
1:30 mango-curry shrimps with a bit of rice 450
4 tuna salad 195
4:45 nuts 120
7:30 sauerkraut with chicken 150
2 dates 120
nuts 120
10 protein, pb 325
= 2.060
ok, a lot of small meals, but i was so hungry all the time, and the overall calories are good enough for bulking, a bit too low even...

workout:
was cardio day, in the morning i did my pushups: 21 this time, and in the evening 40 minutes on the stationary bike, low intensity, only 125 calories burned (thats really depressing but ok...)

i'm really looking forward to november, because then i'll do a "mini-cutting" just for one months...i gained some fat at the end of summer and also a bit now i guess, and i just don't want to bulk for half a year...i tried some things now, do my cutting in november and start in december again with bulking for 3 months (and by then i know HOW to bulk, not relying on a plan...) and then from march on cutting for summer! sounds like a good plan hm?

tonight some friends are visiting and we make pizza!!! one friends brings tiramisu, so its cheat evening (but i'm proud, i can eat clean the whole day and only do some cheat meals, while also trying to make them "better", e.g. using a lot of veggies, shrimps, tuna etc. for the pizza, having more on top to eat less, to eat less carbs in total (the dough))
ok, enough for now, i hope you all have a nice day!!!
(and the sun is shining like its here, its so crazy, its 27 degrees, the sun is shining, like in august, but its october already...crazy world!!!)

gfraast · Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:50 pm Post subject:

i stopped to write on wednesday, so i have a lot to catch up Very Happy

it was a nice evening, we had pizza and tiramisu, and it was obviously too much, and too many carbs at night.
i'm thinking so much about eating disorders the last days, i've read so much and that nearly nobody is eating "normal" anymore. everyone is following a certain approach and nobody is listening to their body anymore. and we are all worrying way too much about eating. so i decided to really really try not to get a real disorder, and stop worrying so much about small cheats! i'm bulking at the moment, trying to add some muscle!! and i know myself, if i don't gain fat it will be much harder when i'm cutting, because my bodyfat is already low...if i add some fat also, it will be fun watching it melt Very Happy

does that make sense?? sorry, i'm really not sure about all this things at the moment, its so crazy to cancel social meetings because of being afraid what there will be to eat, or eating things on the toilet because nobody should see it etc...its not healthy anymore, and i'm worrying so much about eating already and think about it all the time, it really needs so much energy, which i just don't have for that!!

workouts are great, great great!!
thursday was rest day, i only did my one set push ups: 23
friday was chest and triceps day, and i did abs at night. my chest was sooo pumped, i'm an a-cup and i was feeling like have really big boobs Laughing

i like that!!
today i went for a short run (38 minutes), and tomorrow its gym time again

boyfriend is coming home tomorrow, i'm really looking forward to it!!
and now i'm off cooking, got some squash and want to make some soup! (with some chicken and sweet potatoes in it,mmmh, and an apple...)
and maybe i'll have some ice cream at night, i'm cheating a lot this week and blame the eating disorder fear for it...have to get over that, but i think that involves more thinking in the subconscious mind...i'll get over this phase, for sure.
have a nice weekend!!!

gfraast · Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 5:23 pm Post subject:

i really have a problem, i did binge eat again, sooo much, nearly everything sweet we had at the house... Embarassed

i feel so fat... i have to find a healthy middle course between following a plan too strictly and get obsessed about it and eating crap all the time...why is this so hard???

Sophie · Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:43 pm Post subject:

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Cliches aside, there is no good or bad food. Everything in moderation. Heck, the only time I count calories or pay attention to what I'm eating is when I do the Anabolic Diet. And trust me, my diet is "atrocious" when I don't watch it. But, it's just not worth it to me to watch every little thing I eat. Working out and fitness is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not a chore and something to worry about.

Anne-Marie · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:58 am Post subject:

hey gfraast - I was thinking about this post of yours all weekend!!!

You know that the whole world seems to be set up for bad habits - eat 2-3x day, eat too much at each meal, eat lots of carbs and sugar, eat some low-quality protein, and french fries with ketchup count as a vegetable!!! Then people don't know any better and are surprised at how little energy and strength they have, and shocked that you eat often and healthily and how tons of energy and strength!!! Even without going the extra step and trying to push your body, anyone who is a vegetarian, or who just tries to eat moderately must feel out-of-place until they learn how to deal with other people's reactions.

For example, I don't drink alcohol. Every time I visit a new friend, or have someone who doesn't know that over for dinner, or go out for dinner or something, it comes up!!! At school, it comes up. When we planned our wedding, it came up. It doesn't bother me that others choose to drink, but I have not gotten used to other people trying to *bully* me a bit to think or do like them. Sometimes they sound shocked, incredulous, or downright rude (like the nasty person who said that no wonder my wedding would end at 10 pm since why would anyone hang around with no booze!!! Guess who wasn't invited lol!!)

But you know what? Our bodies resist losing fat. Our bodies resist really hard work. But we do it anyway. We figure out what works for us, how to work around our bad habits and our bodies' nature... and do what is right for us. So my point is that what other people say really doesn't matter. You are consistent and true to yourself. I think that is much more admirable than those people who change their beliefs with the wind!!!

Have a great day!

lizzyb · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:08 am Post subject:

These ladies have said it all really!! All I can add is that whenever I try to keep myself in a 'box' and rigidly stay within it's confines, I am miserable! Sabotage ALWAYS creeps in and wreaks havoc......since sabotage really is me defeating me I have been able to come to the understanding with myself that I am a great person outside of the box......I have always needed a little bit of control of my own......I seldom ever follow a plan exactly as it is laid out, I NEVER follow recipes exactly as they are laid out, and when it comes to directions.....I find my own way......in most days I have a little candy or icecream, a treat of some sort.....I don't even give it a 2nd thought either, I just do it. Mind you I also have enough trust in myself to know that I won't go overboard either, but I do know if I had to restrict myself literally, I definitely would be bingeing on all the stuff I enjoy from time to time......again, it all depends on your goals too.....Imean I would never give this insight to a lady who was dieting down for a competition either, that would be sabotage then.......for for every day living, and a desire to achieve certain goals with one's physique......a little sweet, salty, crunchy, creamy stuff will fall........try to roll with it, don't be so hard on yourself.....and for goodness sake stop beating yourself up with your diet and training.....it's not supposed to be punishment, lol!!

guitargrl325 · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:39 pm Post subject:

lizzy's right. i am the same way. when i was trying to be so strict with my diet I was going crazy wanting to cheat or cheating more often than not. now i basically have relaxed things A LOT and i find myself not having the desire to cheat nearly as much. for example, yesterday after lunch i was kind of craving a candy bar and so I thought, hey my macros can actually support this and i'm free with my diet now, so i can eat it, and i pulled it out of the cupboard, looked at it and decided nah, i dont' really want it now that i'm allowed to have it.

it's kind of like that thing when someone says, "don't think of a pink elephant"...well of course all you can think of is a pink elephant!

what it came down to for me is that, yes i want to have a lean sculpted body, but i also want to live a normal life and be allowed treats and junk food sometimes. i needed to find balance and for me, this means having a little treat everyday and a big treat if i really want to.

gfraast · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:42 pm Post subject:

Thanks a lot, as always, for thinking so much about me and my problems!!! it really means a lot to me!!!

I feel much better today, but basically i hate how i feel at the moment...i'm so down (as you can read in my last journal entries, haha), and its basically about hormones, i'm sure about that!! i don't HAVE any hormones at the moment, they are all so low, its post-menopause as far as the doctor said...and i think the homöopathic medication is not changing anything, its nearly 3 months and still no TOM (its now 14 months without, crazy, isn't it?)...i have an appointment on 27th, and i soooo much look forward to that...i try to think positive, but its really not easy (at least i understand my mother, who is in the same hormonal state at the moment, telling me about depressions etc...kind of funny that we are in the same hormonal state actually, mother and daughter)

BUT, and here's the big but...i don't let this get me down!! i AM a positive person, i really am, always was, and thats one of my strengths!!!
the eating disorders...i did think a lot about that the last days, and i came to a solution for me:
i'll eat according to a specific plan, but won't write calories for a while (usually it freaks me out a bit if its too low, or too high or anything)...i'll eat clean, but if there is one thing thats not clean: no problem! as long as i'll eat clean MOST OF THE TIME! i always seem to forget that this is a lifestyle, not a diet, and i'm not competing or anything...and at the moment i try to bulk, so its really not a big deal!! i have to remind myself all the time... thanks lizzy, you said it right, it shouldn't be punishment!!

i feel much better with this approach already, not worrying so much about my eats! as said, i try to keep it clean, cook a lot, but if its just not possible, or would stress me too much, i just have anything thats easy to get and as healthy as possible!!! at the moment i'm cooking for the next days (i'm cooking nearly every evening now, thats really a difference to the past!!)

ok, and now some logs:

workout today:
legs and shoulders
1. sumo squats bar+15 / 20kg+barx11 / 25kg+x9 / x8
2. lunges 6kgx30 / 7kgx26 / 8kgx24 / 9kgx18
3. leg press 50kgx15 / 60kgx10 / 70kgx8 / x8 superset with
4. shoulder press barx15 / 2,5kg+barx10 / x10 / x8
5. side raise 4kg x10 / x10 / x10 / 5kgx6
6. front raise 5kgx10 / 6kgx10 / x10

now i'll do some push ups and then some cardio!!

eats:
5:45 protein, fruit-bar
7:30 dextrose, protein
9 yoghurt (fruit, with sugar Embarassed

), tangerine, cappuccino
11 nuts (20g)
12 whole wheat roll with chicken breast and veggies, some dried pears (pieces, not whole pears Very Happy

)
3:30 protein cookie, 4 jelly beans (yes, and won't regret it!!!)
5 nuts (20g)
6:30 chicken and squash
later i'll have some squash soup (with apple, sweet potatoe and chicken in it) and some protein before bed.
i tend to eat reaaaally often, i'm just hungry very often and eat some small servings.

thanks for reading, and have a nice day!! (or evening in my case)

gfraast · Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:05 am Post subject:

i had such a GREAT weekend!!!! it was with a lot of party, lot of drinking, lot of eating and dancing and having lots of fun!!! i think that was what i really needed, because i feel so much better!!! we've been on works outing friday and saturday, and on saturday i was at a birthday party (30) for a friend. it was all without boyfriend, and i asked him on sunday if its a bad thing that i really enjoyed this weekend and the going out, even if it was without him, but that it was a really good thing for me, exactly what i needed...and he said: i already noticed that, you look much more relaxed! Very Happy

as i mentioned already i don't track my foods at the moment, i just eat as clean as i can. it works pretty good, i would say like 80 or 90% is clean, which is ok for me, for bulking!!

i didn't have time to work out at the weekend, but i think 5hours of dancing counts as cardio?? Laughing

and i did some cardio on saturday as well, because we did to a gang car tour at the works outing and i was cycling about 1,5 hours!!

yesterday i was soooo tired, i couldn't do anything, and i think my body needed the rest, because a lot of people around me are ill at the moment. i did do a workout today in the morning. i was really tired and inveigled to stay in bed, but i said to myself that i need to work out, i'll feel very good afterwards...and i was right! i did chest and abs, and even was able to reach a goal of mine: 50 pushups in 3 sets!!!! yay!! i did 25, then 20 and then 15!! next goal is 60 Very Happy

i also did an ab exercise, and at night i plan to do triceps and another ab exercise.
hope you are all well!!!!

TUffChick · Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:25 pm Post subject:

Hi, I am trying to get caught up on all the journals . . .

I am glad to see you are feeling a bit more cheery like your 'ol self again!

I too have a weakness for binge eating . . I can relate . . I am getting better. I don't do it as oftena dn I get right back on track quicker and don't beat myself up as much . .but I am still learning and growing and working on moderation.

Treat meals are important you can't be 100% strict all the time, I am sure you know that. Wink

I like you new resolve to stop nit picking and tracking so strictily, just looking at the overall quality of your food and potions is good.

Work hard at your bulking if it is what you wanna do! YAY muscle is exciting! Get your protien in , it is the building block of muscle! Wink

LOL!

gfraast · Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:20 am Post subject:

thanks tuffchick, i'm feeling really good with it!! i have my head free for other things, and just enjoy life more!!
i had a great workout yesterday, legs and shoulders and abs. i can lift really heavy now and like it very much...there was another girl in the gym, doing squats with 20kg, and i did with nearly 50kg, that was fun Razz

today i stepped on the scale...i knew that i'm heavier, my clothes are tighter, and you just see it (when i'm naked Razz

)...i'm at nearly 63kg (138,9 pounds) at 174cm (5,7)...thats my heaviest EVER!!! i've been 62kg once, but i felt much heavier by then, and i think i also looked like that, it was much more fat than its now (hopefully Laughing

)
i wanted to do a mini-cutting in november, and i think i really need that, for that i don't go crazy about gaining so much...it would be great to get down to 60 again (only fat loss for sure Laughing

) and then bulk up again from december to february or march...
i'll go and eat something now Laughing

have a nice day!!

Anne-Marie · Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 6:37 am Post subject:

you are doing so great gfraast! I love reading your journal, and I can just feel the pride ooozing from you lifting so heavy now!!!

Anne-Marie · Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:06 am Post subject:

gfraast - i am so curious about wht you are up to!!! usually you post in your own journal every day, and i miss you lately!!! come back... tell me how heavy you are lifting now... can you lift a car? How about this car?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJfSS0ZXYdo

britbabe · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:08 am Post subject:

Hey Gfraast.... not much to say really looks like you got it all covered and dealt with ... so just sending good vibes your way!!
x

gfraast · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:07 am Post subject:

hiiiii!! i'm back Very Happy

i wanted to write yesterday, but had to read a lot of journals i missed the last week, so my own journal had to wait...
thanks anne-marie for missing me!!

i love my new approach of "no calorie counting", although i loved it more while bulking last week Laughing

since monday (i know, thats 2nd november, but on the first we had peking duck, 5 courses, lot of fun with friends...i had lots of veggies etc., but that would have been no good "official" first leaning day!) i'm leaning a bit. just for one months, because i gained so much according to my scale and need some variation!!

my hormones are a thing for themselves...if you remember, i stopped hormonal birth control in august 2008 and didn't have tom utnil then...now, after some homeopathic treatments my doctor said i should start taking the pill again, thats the best for me at the moment! so i'm on hormones again, but i'll see another doctor in january (its not possible before january because of the insurance), just to see what she is saying to all this...
what i can say after taking hormones for 10 days: my skin is 100% better! thats really a plus, i was feeling already like a teenager again Laughing

workouts the last days:
26.10. chest and tricpes with boyfriend
27.10. short run - 5,78km
28.10. legs and shoulders at home
29.10. only abs and push ups
30.10. back and biceps and 44 minutes run (6,94km)
weekend was off (more for that later)
02.11. full body workout at thome and 32 minutes on stationary bike
03.11. 45 minutes mixture of running in the snow (yes, it did snow already yesterday...but now its raining again and all the snow is gone), stair running and stationary bike
04.11. full body workout in the morning in gym already, and some stationary bike in the evening planned

so you see, i'm on track with my workouts, and eats are also pretty good, considering that i don't follow a specific plan and track no calories...i didn't have any treats yet (since monday), didn't need any!! so i'm really glad and hope that this will work for the future!!

weekend was soooo great, i was out on friday, and also no saturday. we did dress up for halloween, i was a spider, maybe i'll post a picture...
it was a lot of fun, we've been out till the morning, and slept nearly the whole day!

hm...thats all i can think of at the moment, but i'll try to post every day again Very Happy

have a nice day!!!!